Samaria Johnson

Writer/Editor/Content Creator (but in a fun, cool way)

Honestly Just Here For A Laugh

Things I pray no one brings up at Thanksgiving.

Babe •

My daddy issues got in the way of me finding a sugar daddy and I feel cheated

My dad and I have had a rocky relationship since the beginning of time. Sometimes this makes me “cool” and “relatable,” and other times it makes me “overly emotional” or “unstable.” It depends on the time and place.

As we’ve learned from millennial social exposes such as Girls Gone Wild and that CNN special about college kids on spring break, girls with daddy issues often have a lot of baggage to bring to the table. Girls like us need an overabundance of male attention, and my student loans...
Babe •

Hmu if you want to go in on a three-pack of these dude rompers because they look comfy as hell

Even though it means getting full nude just to pee or risking permanent damage to my reproductive system every time I raise my arms, I love rompers and everything that they stand for.

So when I saw the new RompHim line — which proposes rompers specifically designed for men — I looked past logic, common sense, and a basic sense of style, and instead marched straight towards the romper-filled future.
MOGUL •

[Almost] Everything that You [Might] Need to Know About Missouri’s 2016 Election

[Almost] Everything that You [Might] Need to Know About Missouri’s 2016 Election

I had no idea what I was doing the first time that I voted.

Well, no, the voting process itself is actually beyond simple, but there were, like, 978 other things on the ballot that weren’t voting for the president and my world was ROCKED because I hadn’t prepared for all of that content that was getting thrown at me.

It’s overwhelming when you walk in expecting to answer, like, three simple questions and are instead...
MOGUL •

What's Actually Going On in Women's Bathrooms?

People are getting ridiculously heated about the possibility of someone who was biologically born with male anatomy being in a women’s bathroom. They assume that women are fragile little creatures that cannot possibly relieve their bladders knowing that someone with possibly different genitalia is in a closed-off compartment a few feet away from them.

But has anyone actually ever been in a women’s bathroom before?

Some of those little fortresses are private as hell. Sure, your average...
Runt Of The Web •

HGTV To Hold Border Wall Design Contest

HGTV has created a new reality-style competition in order to find a design for President Trump’s proposed border wall.

Twelve teams of two will present their original ideas for what they believe the border wall should look like. Each week, the competitors will be presented with challenges that will push them to scrutinize every element of their proposed designs. From determining what materials they’ll use to deciding on a color scheme, American families will witness the entire step-by-step design...
Runt Of The Web •

Vegans Asking People To Eat Christmas Trees Instead Of Throwing Them Away

As the holiday season draws to a close, a group of vegans has proposed a new idea: people should eat their leftover, decaying Christmas trees instead of throwing them away.

The crew of California vegans have banded together to call themselves “Treegans,” and they advocate for full consumption of Christmas trees instead of sending them to landfills where they will be burned.

Jed Walker, of Pasadena, California, helped to organize the movement. “Recycling trees is good, but you’re still aiding...
In the Powder Room •

The Top 3 People I'd Want at my Labiaplasty

You are having a labiaplasty. You can only bring one person (or group of people) with you to wait with you while you have your surgery. Whom do you choose?

A girl on the Netflix documentary Sexy Baby took her mom with her. That struck me as a bit odd, but it also raised a very important question: whom would I bring with me to my hypothetical labiaplasty? I decided to take some time out of my clearly incredibly busy life to ponder the answer.

I have to admit that the whole labiaplasty phenomenon...
Points in Case •

An Open Letter to People Who Do Not Put PowerPoints into Presentation Mode

I have several passions in this life: PowerPoint presentations, putting PowerPoints into presentation mode when I’m showing them to an audience, and trying to find out why there are some people that don’t put their shit into presentation mode when they are GIVING A PRESENTATION.

Walk with me here.

At first I was willing to give y’all the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you don’t know how basic modern technology works. But then I realized that PowerPoint (and various knockoff PowerPoint systems)...